what is “self-harm”?
have you ever really given this some though or contemplation? is “self-abuse” another term for this?
if we are honest, there are a few obvious acts of self-harm…
consuming recreational drugs, pharmaceutical drugs and alcohol
over consuming food… including foods that are considered “healthy”
sleep deprivation
water deprivation
smoking and vaping
and the list could go on for a while, right?! and we all have done or do some of those, including myself.
now to the “next level” of self-harm…
exercising too much, including yoga. i mean are the joints meant to be stretched that much and that often? i often wonder how the folks in cirque du soleil move years after they retire. i have no clue. and is a 50 year old meant to lift much weight? just because one can, does that mean one should?
tattoos. could this be an accepted version of “cutting”?
reading too much. i mean if we are reading too much, are we not avoiding reality?
watching too much news. “if it bleeds, it leads” right?! so what are we actually consuming and is it the entire picture of reality?
working too much… the old “workaholic” identity that is praised by society.
another way to reframe the workaholic one is… never resting without permission or earning it.
volunteering. is that an identity for some with a lot of resentment hidden underneath? isn’t a form of people-pleasing?
loyalty… for example, never missing one of your child’s games, performances or events. is that reality? is that realistic? what are we teaching our children by not being human?
and again, the list could go on and on.
here’s an even deeper one i discovered about myself earlier this week…
not asking for help
not receiving help when offered
for me, this was 5 decades of self-harm suppressed because i had a very old belief that needing and receiving meant i was LACKING! how crazy, cool and insane is that??? and where did i get that belief? whose is it? how many people and joyful experiences did i miss out on because i had too much fucking pride to either ask for help and or receive it. there’s a lot of grief hidden in this awareness… and i am grateful for every last drop of it.
here’s one more thing to ponder and it’s a hypothesis i carry for now… think of some of your fantasies… your dark ones… that feel both taboo and really good… i am willing to bet that “self-harm” is part of them… if you look without judgment and are honest.
something to reflect, contemplate, meditate and/or pray on… if you have the courage. i know you have the courage because if i do, then you do too. i am an ordinary, average, meek, boring human being and i love that about myself.
enjoy the moments of the day. much luv and gratitude for reading this far 🫶🏼❤️🔥💫☯